This arrived in our mail this morning, and I cannot stop laughing at it.
It’s from Herman in Apartment C on 123 Sample Drive here in Indianapolis, which I don’t think is an Actual Address, but I appreciate that Herman used a Scooby Doo stamp and took time to write the date out with a pen instead of typing it. His 3s are so fancy!
If that’s too small to make out clearly, here’s what Herman had to say to us (with all grammatical/spelling errors left intact):
“You giggling females are jealous of Pelosi and Hillary makes me sad of being white. A crook and whore man is president and a person who tells lies has some of Americans fooled, and has brought no culture to the White House. The Black President and is wife did have some culture. The Trump and his first lady probably don’t know what culture is. Cohen told a lot of lies, but even the best of people who lie tell the truth some time. I listen to Fox News every day and they seem to love this Trump man.”
That’s literally the entire letter. And do you see how it’s stapled up in the right hand corner? It’s stapled to another piece of blank paper, because of reasons I cannot begin to fathom.
I can’t tell if he’s saying we’re jealous of Pelosi and that Hillary makes him sad to be white, or if we’re jealous of Pelosi AND Hillary and that jealousy makes him sad to be white, because this guy is a FREAKING DUMBASS who has no idea how to communicate.
But I gotta give it up for him for spending FIFTY FIVE CENTS to send us that Critically Important Letter.
FIFTY FIVE CENTS, you guys.